How to say "upsetting" in Japanese

• 腹立たしいはらだたしいCommon
  i-adjectiveFor 'upsetting' that means anger-provoking: something irritating or maddening that stirs your temper, such as repeated rudeness or an infuriating situation. The feeling is rising irritation rather than sadness or hurt.
  彼かれは腹立はらだたしげに彼女かのじょを見みた。↗

  He looked at her angrily.
• 心外しんがいCommon
  na-adjective, nounFor 'upsetting' as in hurtful or disappointing: something said or done that is contrary to your true feelings, such as having your sincerity or intentions doubted. The nuance is feeling misjudged rather than angered.

Choose 「腹立たしい」 for upsetting in the sense of anger-provoking — irritating, maddening — and 心外 for upsetting as hurt or disappointment at something contrary to your true feelings; neither fits the 'distressing, saddening' sense.

Usage comparisons are AI-assisted and cross-checked by multiple models; for study reference only

• 腹立たしいはらだたしいirritating
• 心外しんがいregrettable