てあげる
Doing something as a favor for someone else. The person doing the favor can be the speaker, someone on the speaker's side, or a third person helping another third person. The receiver is not the speaker.
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Common in everyday conversation and writing, especially about favors among equals, family and friends. The giver is the subject, and the favor flows away from the speaker or between third persons. It is softer than てやる. It contrasts with てくれる, where the favor comes toward the speaker's side, and with てもらう, which frames the same event from the receiver's viewpoint.
Do not use てあげる when someone does something for you; use てくれる for favors directed at the speaker.
Note that saying 〜てあげましょうか to a teacher or boss can sound condescending; use お〜しましょうか instead.
Learners sometimes overuse てあげる about their own actions, which can sound like they are emphasizing or boasting about their kindness.
- てやるN4「てやる」 is similar in meaning to 「てあげる」 but more casual and condescending, typically used for family members, juniors, animals, and plants; it can also express deliberately annoying someone or a resolve made out of spite, a meaning 「てあげる」 does not have.
- てくれるN4「てくれる」 works in the opposite direction: someone else does something for you, and you benefit and feel grateful; you can also use 「〜てくれない？」 to ask someone to help you. You cannot use 「てくれる」 when you do something for someone else, so the two are not interchangeable.
- てもらうN3「てもらう」 takes the beneficiary as the subject and means receiving a benefit from someone's action or asking someone to do something, with 「に」 marking the doer; 「てあげる」 means you do something for someone else, with 「に」 marking the beneficiary. The two are not interchangeable.
- 〜ていただくN4「〜ていただく」 works in the opposite direction: you receive a favor from a superior, teacher, etc., with the beneficiary as subject and 「に」 marking the doer; it is formal and can form polite requests such as 「〜ていただけますか」. The two are not interchangeable.
- てほしいN4「てあげる」 means you personally do something for someone else, giving them a benefit; 「てほしい」 means you want someone else to do something, or want things to turn out that way, with the actual doer being someone other than yourself. The meanings differ, so the two are not interchangeable.
てやる expresses the same outward favor but is more casual or downward, typically used toward younger people, animals or plants. てくれる describes someone doing a favor for the speaker's side, while てもらう and its humble form 〜ていただく present the favor from the receiver's viewpoint, and てほしい expresses wanting someone to do something rather than giving a favor.
